Description: i like the way my teacher made me use a program on Microsoft word that helped me make this better. also i made it look more like a poem then it did. heave fun reading it and i hope u like it
the redone version of life watchers -------------------------------------------
For days at a time it seems like they seem like forever that we wait and watch as life goes by us. Never stopping to enjoy the song birds tones or a flowers play. As we sit by and watch the sun go down and the moon rise. We sit like stone statues standing guard past a gate waiting to stop all that dare to trespass . As life passes by we donít do anything to stop it. But sit watch and wait for death to came and take us away. But before he comes a voice comes in to say start living life you want to because you never know you might die the next day
I totally get what you're trying to say- the feeling of doing nothing and just going through the motions so by the end of the day, you really do feel like it was a waste. I particularly like the line "We sit like still statues standing guard."
The only thing is I think it sounds a lot more like prose than poetry- maybe parts of it could be more subtle and it can be made to flow more.
But really, I enjoyed reading it and I feel like I can relate. Thanks.