Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: September Sylphaendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: -Lith-Ium-
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 56/107/58
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 910



    Description:
       There's always a 'once upon a'... something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeptember Sylphaendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Once upon a grey September -
    Day,
    Yes, I remember -
    Oh, but no, I will not 'say',
    For sweet flowers in decay,
    Might make my weak heart surrender...
    And I always run away...


    ...from the light, the ghastly phantom -
    Of the night,
    Dreaming at random,
    Just a fictional delight-
    Watching a sweet angel's flight.
    I'm the one, the one who made them...


    ...made them wish, made them desire -
    My sweet thrill -
    Now flames and fire
    And I want you, and I feel... -
    And my tears, my dear, cruel liar...
    And I'd wish you'd take me higher.
    Can't be free, unless... until...


    ...Until... I'm ashes, once again -
    Remember?
    Now a lost refrain...
    Of a sweet September
    Day.




    Submitted on 2008-09-30 20:54:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece had a nice flow and I really liked the first stanza.

    This had a lot of saddness to it.

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166303

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Outlaw
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Mystery Read written by kyserin

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry