Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inhaledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: meoww
    Elite Ratio:    6.75 - 262/258/143
    Words: 264
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1623



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInhaledots
    -------------------------------------------




    I am learning to breathe
    all over again.


    Where I choose
    to discover a kiss
    is the art of beauty,
    a kind of
    entanglement
    with freedom,
    a sort of
    impromptu
    cafe scene
    where the waitress
    is ever so polite
    and wishes me
    a happy Ramadan
    and blessings
    for my kids.

    And I'll reply
    "I don't have any, miss
    but thank you
    for considering it.
    I'd like to wish you
    solace,
    stability
    and roses
    in the form
    of a tip."

    She won't argue with this.

    She'll smile
    and think back
    to a time
    when men
    only spoke with men,
    when gratitude came
    in the form of banishment
    to the kitchen
    or garden
    or loom
    with endless yarn
    to spin.

    Let me spin upon fractals,
    where situations
    become summer
    only if you will it.
    Let me open my fingers
    and tell you
    we are young
    and silly
    even to our last days
    spent coddled
    by the only ones
    who care
    to know us:
    decrepit, stinking
    of bored flesh,
    for release
    into

    Void.
    Insignificance.
    The embrace of faith
    the only deliverance,
    the only flame.


    Here, learn to breathe with me
    all over again.




    Submitted on 2008-10-01 00:40:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ........... excellent, beautiful, and all the things I have said in previous post to your other poems are now re-affirmed, such a poignancy in your use of words, and such clarity ! Great title ! I also loved this one..... can you tell

    col13x
    | Posted on 2008-10-15 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      nice rhythm
    I like it's unique
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166311

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Keep written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry