Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To-Do List dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 877
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605



    Description:
       Whore, goddamn, and childhood are all profanities-- but like all things, they have their place.

    Didn't I mean to stop using greek mythology as a crutch? Whoops.

    Cronus castrated his father with a scythe and then usurped him. Later, he swallowed his own children out of fear, but was tricked by his wife into eating a stone instead of his youngest son (Zeus). He then vomited up all his other children and was usurped by Zeus after a great battle.

    In the Greek universal flood myth (much akin to the Noah's Ark story), the two sole survivors received an oracle at the temple of Themis to cast stones behind them. Where those stones fell, a new generation of people sprung up.

    So, yes. I mashed together two myths.

    Scythen is not a word, but I couldn't figure out a valid way to say scythe-like.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo-Do List dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love is lust's
    anticlimax.


    Tomorrow I will sneak out
    like a child, abuse a
    stranger, pretend to be
    a whore on the sidewalk.

    And I will say to teenagers:
    bare your scythen-teeth
    while you can, you poor
    goddamn Cronuses.

    I will swallow a stone
    and throw it up again, cast it
    behind me. It will be
    nothing more and likely less
    than a childhood.

    I am the anticlimax
    to myself.




    Submitted on 2008-10-01 18:38:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this especially the first stanza. The inspiration kinda fades out after that. You write in the description about the flood myth and the greek myth being similar. Actually I have my own theory that Zeus and El of the Bible are the same God. One of Zeus wives was Hera. In the old semitic religion El had two wives one of which was called Ashera. He is also been said to have 70 sons with his wives, maybe these were the Greek gods...
    | Posted on 2011-07-08 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah, but damn you and your descriptions because i can never go back now and see if i would have loved this as much without that extra knowledge, even so,

    this is a stunner, and i agree with jaydee, it's proposal worthy, though fortunately for you i am still technically married and also presently spoken for.

    and wouldn't poetry be a bit unpoetrylike if we couldn't conjure new words?

    sorry for the summary. i love it.
    | Posted on 2010-02-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Fingers, and teeth, when they're reaching share a great intimacy.

    Wanting is greater than having, isn't it? The longing can cause such a wonderful anticipation and a desire to possess...but once held, rarely does anything live up to itself.

    And so it is with love. Wanting, waiting, then to find that the hunt is so fulfilling; the kill hollow as a homunculus.

    What a wretched thing to think, to say, to be one's own anticlimax. I read it and think of all the potential inside myself that I can't tap into. Trapped beneath the burdens of a mortal existence - but even with limitless time would I be able to reach out and above?

    And yes - childhood is a profanity. It is responsible for such great pain and trouble. We build so many foolish monuments in youth and expect them to remain pristine as years march by. Then we cry foul when we see what rain, wind, and sun do to things left in the weeds.

    I know you wanted to say 'scythe like' but what about :

    "...bare your teeth like scythes
    while you can, you poor
    goddamn Cronuses."

    As for the stones tossed out and less than childhood - what is a seed?

    Infinitely less, perhaps, than even a foetus slumbering in a womb.

    (For the record I do not think you use mythology as a crutch...mining imagery is not the same thing as a crutch at all. If it is then we are all cripples.)
    | Posted on 2008-10-09 00:00:00 | by Fizzlethorpe | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the poem, nice idea rewriting these 2 myths,in your own words,the way i take it is that most children or teenagers rebel against their parents,in the myth about the young couple in the cave throwing stones over their shoulder, which turned into humans, and supposedly better ones at that.in your poem you want to swallow a stone, throw it over your shoulder but you realise that when it turns into a "human" it will first of all have to go through childhood.(something that you do not have good memories about, and you do not wish this upon anyone)or maybe i,m on the wrong track, interesting poem i liked it.
    take care
    ger
    | Posted on 2008-10-04 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      oh god.
    seriously.
    marry me.


    hmmm... that didnt come out right.
    i want to tell you i love you but well... love is lusts anticlimax so im not sure what to say in its place.

    im glad you prefaced the myths you mashed together as that brings a whole lot more meaning to the imagery for me but it would work without the knowledge too on some level or other.

    the last line is killer. it completely stumped me and left me dead. i am my own anticlimax... i cannot even begin to explain what my mind does when i allow it to open to such an idea.

    interesting that childhood is a profanity.

    gah you just amaze me
    very interesting to-do list.
    | Posted on 2008-10-02 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166338

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Carry written by saartha
    You read free written by poetotoe
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Where? written by ParanoidParadox
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry