Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 101/55/51
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 754
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 642



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The empty frigid blackness covers me
    Filled heavily with solitary dots
    Which sprinkles into voided boundless space
    I sit with infinite eras of time
    In fear that hope has been exhausted, spent
    As its light withers, dims, and fades away
    Then languidly a silver, a glint, peaks
    Through desolated curtains of despair
    A tiny tendril gently swirls entwine
    A solf worm cozy blanket around me
    Awakening, thawing as the lightís rays
    Melt my external icy frozen shell
    Toward delighted sun I strive to reach
    And free from nightís dark shadow- I emerge




    Submitted on 2008-10-01 21:35:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think that this poem is really pretty awesome, (there were some typos though-is 'silver,' actually silver or 'sliver..' I think you may have meant 'a soft, warm, cozy blanket around me' ? The rest of it is really good, I liked the beginning and the last line the best. It is a great example of hoping when things go wrong...even though it isn't very long, it's very complete. Good job,
    dancer
    | Posted on 2008-11-16 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166342

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Heroína written by MyPeriodical
    Mei written by Chelebel
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
    MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by taintedsmiles
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    Begin Again written by Teofila
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Release written by robbie
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    Happy New Oblivion written by Pietro
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Expectations written by taintedsmiles
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry