Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Anglingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 510
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 906



    Description:
       There's an Australian TV show with a bloke who catches every kind of fish, then kisses them and lets them go. Well, not every kind I guess; he'd have trouble with that act sometimes at sea? I don't fish since my little daughters once decided it was cruel; but some days I feel like that fish-kissing fisherman anyway!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnglingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Had a good day:
    made a poem for a reader -
    maybe for several.
    Now I'll make one just for me.

    It's about the feel of a line
    as you feed it to the deep
    and wait,
    pretending not to care,
    and then how
    with a little twitch,
    the verseform bites
    way down there:
    the very one you set bait for,
    that very one which jumped once
    at sunrise;
    and play it in
    and play it in

    All of a long bright day
    till it laughs, finished flirting
    (permit me a mixed metaphor?
    Now it's a fish again)
    and swims into your hands,
    every single scale coruscant
    to the setting sun,

    Then you kiss it,
    let it dart away to
    wherever poems get to
    when you let them go,
    and smile in your sleep all night.




    Submitted on 2008-10-03 06:06:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Didn't Steve Irwin try kissing a stingray? Not a good idea. I remember how tame the wild ocean fish were at the feeding station off the beach at Darwin. Here in New Zealand we have some giant eels, two metres long and thicker than your arm. In certain places they feed them in the river so that you can get in among them, a great crowd of slimy muscular eels. Those you could kiss if you wanted to. I like poems about the genesis of poetry. I love Ted Hughes' "The Thought Fox". I don't love your poem quite as much, but I certainly like it. I know it's only a cold blooded poem, but heck, even poems can feel pain and I wish you'd shown just a little more empathy for that metaphor on a hook. I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist a barbed comment.
    | Posted on 2009-06-13 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like informal type poetry, it lets you get a sense of who the author might be, and this guy, he seems like a happy fellow.

    'and play it in
    and play it in'

    loved the repetition there and also the [informal 'allow me...']

    goodstuff.

    I have one suggestion for the close.

    instead of smiling before bed, maybe let the fish/poem do that for you...

    surfacing just once-- and then goodnight.

    or some such.

    Tidy poem, and it warmed me to read it.
    | Posted on 2009-05-06 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      wow a poem about a poem which is about poetry itself. thats creative. kinda reminds me of some of those "unserious" writing exercises I do every now and then. I dont really see anything wrong it unless you wanna make it longer? naw...lol...ok. some people dont like to write long poems.

    I <3 creativity.
    | Posted on 2008-10-03 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166390

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    prison written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry