I hope, dear Col, you speak not of yourself in this rant and rave about God. For life is hard to many human beings, but that does not mean God has left their side or loves them not.
God did not say he would come on this Earth and grant us a perfect life or be in plain sight every moment. He said we must live our lives for ourselves and make our own mistakes. We will suffer, we will be punished for things beyond our control it seems, but it is not so. God does not punish the innocent. Man punishes the innocent.
I hope perhaps you hear what I say instead of feeling disgust, anger, or just plain disbelief. I do like this one although. For normally I tend to like ones that have rhythm, but this one has a specialness of it's own to compensate for my like.
It was wonderfully written and the sequence was perfect in each paragraph. There is one part that seemed to throw off the rest though. It was the part that God said...
“Break his heart and his soul
“Let the [censored] [censored] bleed
“For I love him not”
For the rest, although hateful, seemed to be spoken by a superior being. I do not quite see God saying "Let the [censored] [censored] bleed". It seems unrealistic. Well, many churchgoers would say the rest seemed unrealistic, but the [censored] part is by far the most unreal.
If anything it should just be...
"Let the [censored] bleed".
Overall, it was wonderful. It is your choice if you would like to change it. If not it still sounds wonderful. Excellent write.