[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: THE UNICORN IS BORN TO DIEdots

    Author: jamar2
    ASL Info:    52/male/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 53/46/75
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 851
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 676

       poem written about the legendry unicorn

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The big white mare turned her reddened head
    To gaze upon the face of the stallion that lead,
    Seeking protection for her newly born
    As she hides away amid the prickly thorn.

    The hounds of hell will seek out the little babe
    For there is nowhere to hide when out on the glade,
    As she has to feed to keep the little one well
    But at the site of the virgin all will be hell.

    Out on the glade the stallion fought to his death
    Killing many a beast right to his last breath,
    The hounds of hell still claimed their small prize
    She could only run, hide, still hearing her babes cries.

    Submitted on 2008-10-06 14:14:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Aren't we all born to die?
    | Posted on 2008-10-07 00:00:00 | by Renč Magrete | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh man, i love the picture this creates. When i first clicked on this poem, i thought it would be the typical fluffly unicorn and crap like that, but it wasn't and im glad. It reminded me of Bambi but a little reversed...instead of bambis mom dying...bambi dies. And like Steph said it was very refreshing. Great job! And welcome to ES!!!

    | Posted on 2008-10-06 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
      I particularly like the usage of imagery here. Kind of sad that the babies and the stallion died, though. Survival of the fittest, I suppose. Anyway. This is a refreshing write, something new--not a topic that has been written about over and over again. I commend you.

    Great write.

    | Posted on 2008-10-06 00:00:00 | by xXCptn_SephyXx | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]