[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Creative love.dots

    Author: BestxDeceptions
    ASL Info:    22, Female, Kentucky.
    Elite Ratio:    2.23 - 25/66/49
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 690
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1264

       This piece was written with a distinctive format. Thus, the title. I'm very curious to see if any of you can find the patten. It's in the lines, stanza's and poem as a whole.

    If you can find it, or you think you have, please, tell me, even if it's a guess, and how long it took you to catch it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCreative love.dots

    I've rewritten these words
    at least forty times,
    and each time it
    is never good enough.

    There's nothing that I
    could say that could
    make you feel how
    I know I do.

    Just your voice makes
    me weak. With one
    simple word you so
    easily win me over.

    Your gaze meets mine
    my head goes blank,
    my thoughts all jumble,
    and you captivate me.

    When my head rest
    on your shoulder, you
    pull me close. This
    is when I'm safe.

    When your hand is
    on my cheek and
    your lips press softly
    against mine, I melt.

    You hold me for
    no reason other than
    you want to. I
    can't help but smile.

    It takes all of
    my strength to keep
    my arms from wrapping
    around you every moment.

    So, I've tried to
    write this at least
    forty times. It still
    isn't right and I

    don't think it will
    ever be. I'll rewrite
    it, at least four
    more and maybe then,


    Submitted on 2008-10-07 20:29:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      40 times...like 40 days of lent, 40 days of fasting...

    i keep writing it but will not let you read it...i want you to see how i feel on your own, and see how you feel about me, on your own.

    this poem may never be okay in my eyes...because in your eyes i am not enough...or at least i feel that way....you look at me with love...but a part of me doesn't believe it...

    i am intrigued much more by content than by pattern..

    i do like this...but careful in stanza 5...'when my head rests"

    as a poet writing a poem..i see a speaker who wants the subject to be on the same page as she.

    | Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    This written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]