Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: darkness and lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shadow of death
    ASL Info:    17/M/baltimore
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 38/53/34
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 528
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1184



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdarkness and lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness
    I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted
    I won't let anyone interfere with
    Everything that is to come in the future

    A fruit has told me of the future
    This city has forgotten reason
    These distorted and black times will
    Change into ideals, into dreams

    Why? Am I a broken messiah?
    The "end" that everyone has wished for...

    We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness
    I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted
    I won't let anyone interfere with
    Everything that is to come in the future

    One day I will show you
    The sky that shines with light

    Why? Am I a broken messiah?
    The "paradise" that everyone dreamed of...

    We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness
    I loved you, so the flower of evil sprouted
    I won't let anyone interfere with
    Everything that is to come in the future

    One day I will show you
    The sky that shines with light




    Submitted on 2008-10-09 18:35:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well, you asked for it so ill comment. honestly, i love it. i love the words and the questions. its amazing... its so raw. you're awesome. thanks for sharing. its the perfect piece i needed today.


    love tina


    | Posted on 2008-12-12 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well puppy, this wasn't half bad. I think it could have been formatted a little different. Some parts don't seem to fit in with other parts. Some lines seem longer and it just doesn't seem as if it would fit in with a melody. Lyric-wise, I think it was good. You actually wrote what you felt, without so much drama to what you were saying. Sometimes you try to add in words or discriptions that really don't fit in and looks kind of alien with the rest of the poem or song. But I think it was good. Miss u guys. AND



    I GOT CONTRACTED WITH ROTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i'm happy about that.

    Later,
    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      well, as a song, it's slightly difficult to follow, got to suggest what people outta hum in there head while reading it you know. But it is good, as lyrics i do like it, which is actually rare there past few. should lengthen it!!!!

    48
    | Posted on 2008-10-21 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166664

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by Outlaw
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry