[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lizzie Borden's Evil Sisterdots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1232
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 578

       just a musing at 7am on no sleep...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLizzie Borden's Evil Sisterdots

    lend me an axe, but don't call me Lizzie
    the sight of blood makes me rather dizzy
    instead i'll swing and hack away at your mind
    slash 'til you convulse and make you go blind
    {but it's all inside, dear, it's all inside
    you cannot deride my Jekyll and Hyde}
    i'll lick your thoughts off my blade and consider
    if and when you recover whether you will be bitter
    or if you'll remember how i invaded your head
    will what i know now be of use when you're dead?

    Submitted on 2008-10-10 11:18:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is so cool....i am really into this sort of thing...serial killers, etc.

    and lizzie...i like the analogy...i am her sister...not a literal lizzie but figuratively i will take my poetic axe to your head...

    forty whacks, forty poems...dead yet?

    | Posted on 2011-04-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      A mind is a terrible thing to taste...
    | Posted on 2008-10-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it, a bloody lot, funny in a way , you did a good job on the rhyming especially these lines here.

    {but it's all inside, dear, it's all inside
    you cannot deride my Jekyll and Hyde

    i love the jekyll and hide story, there are times when i have these "hide" thoughts about certain people, but like you say only thoughts.
    i enjoyed the poem
    | Posted on 2008-10-10 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was a well executed piece, technically you did nothing wrong. Your use of imagery is astounding. For me though this is a little to gory for my taste, but all the same it is a very well written.
    | Posted on 2008-10-10 00:00:00 | by Lostlover | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh snap! I liked the rhythm and how you used word to rhyme and work together and make the piece have a flow. Very nice. It gave a feel, but all I could suggest would be to work a bit more on it, maybe change some words around and make it more intense? But that's just from my perspective :D I liked it though!
    | Posted on 2008-10-10 00:00:00 | by Elleisbroken | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]