Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just a Momentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: faideddarkness
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Idaho
    Elite Ratio:    6.62 - 96/51/46
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 628
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1021



    Description:
       There a lot of my writings that are sad or heart aching so I tried to do this one a little different.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust a Momentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit listening to every thought
    That seems to pass loudly,
    As if the sound of shattering glass.

    She slid gracefully and quietly
    Disturbing nothing but my thoughts,
    Fiddling and confusing my heart
    As if talent was her life.

    Laying down
    Slipping my hands under my head,
    I started to draw
    Images of her upon the ceiling.

    I began
    Watching her eyes
    Feeling the time becoming lost
    And the world
    No longer in existents.

    The feeling of weightless came over
    Nothing holding me down
    And nothing holding me back.

    I felt capable of anything.

    Waking up
    Still resting upon her
    I realized the strength,
    Us as one,
    And what I would be without her.

    As if the stars of the heavens
    I hope she will always stay
    Always to light the way,
    And I in turn
    To keep her bright.




    Submitted on 2008-10-10 18:36:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I likes it, nice to see something other then sad poems (not like I can talk all of mine seem sad ) I really like this one, keep up the good work.

    ^_^

    ~ <3 ~ Nix ~ <3 ~
    | Posted on 2008-10-21 00:00:00 | by NixLacus | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice , Not as smoth as I like'em
    but very nice.


    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-10-10 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166709

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry