Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Life Lost in a Systemdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShadowsofSonya
    ASL Info:    22/female/Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 300/260/52
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1163



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLife Lost in a Systemdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lost in a system
    That not so secure
    They're lost in the system
    After the pain my family's endured
    Move them here,
    Store them there
    My children could be anywhere
    Visitations once a week,
    That's a laugh
    It's been over a week,
    Since I've seen them last
    My son,
    My daughter,
    I miss them so
    DHS has no time,
    Impossible to get a-hold
    So many classes I have to go through
    Though I wasn't there,
    I'm accountable too
    Punished for working,
    Unaware of what's going on
    They say I should've known
    Oh boy are they wrong
    He was my husband,
    The father of my child
    Why should I suspect,
    Let my thoughts run wild
    Proven wrong all along afterall
    My husband crumbled my life
    Now as I fall,
    Lost in the system
    My family's life in a down-fall
    I pray I get my kids back
    I miss them so much
    My life is stacked
    With the need of dirty diapers,
    Snotty noses,
    Hugs,
    And such




    Submitted on 2008-10-10 18:39:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Once again, my heart breaks for you, Sonya! It sounds like being twice punished! Your poem tells a sad story, and is very well written. I pray for justice and mercy for you, and may God see your need and lend a helping hand!
    | Posted on 2008-10-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166710

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry