Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In my eyes (English Version)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadow24968
    ASL Info:    16 Male
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 69/72/34
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Romance
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 716



    Description:
       For those who don't like foreign culture, heres an english one for ya, ya morbid swines =p (Or to those who just didn't know what the hell I was talking about)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn my eyes (English Version)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are the one I love forever more
    Zoe, I need you to be mine
    You're the purest soul I ever know
    With a heart so gold and divine

    You're the angel of earth
    A falling star
    Something I can never let go
    Not even for fortune or fame

    You're like a moonlight gaze
    And its only because that I love you
    That I cherish these fateful days
    Under a lifetime set for us two

    Your my burning fire
    My one shining star
    My only sensual desire
    This is a short, but meaningful poem for you
    Because I love you dearly more than you could ever know
    Even though our distance is afar




    Submitted on 2008-10-10 23:55:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry, wasn't keen on this. I thought it showed potential in some places, but overall it was very disjointed. There was just no structure to it. I also felt the content was a bit clichéd.
    | Posted on 2008-10-11 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    166724

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Incubus written by monad
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry