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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In my eyes (English Version)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadow24968
    ASL Info:    16 Male
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 69/72/34
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Romance
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 716



    Description:
       For those who don't like foreign culture, heres an english one for ya, ya morbid swines =p (Or to those who just didn't know what the hell I was talking about)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn my eyes (English Version)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You are the one I love forever more
    Zoe, I need you to be mine
    You're the purest soul I ever know
    With a heart so gold and divine

    You're the angel of earth
    A falling star
    Something I can never let go
    Not even for fortune or fame

    You're like a moonlight gaze
    And its only because that I love you
    That I cherish these fateful days
    Under a lifetime set for us two

    Your my burning fire
    My one shining star
    My only sensual desire
    This is a short, but meaningful poem for you
    Because I love you dearly more than you could ever know
    Even though our distance is afar




    Submitted on 2008-10-10 23:55:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry, wasn't keen on this. I thought it showed potential in some places, but overall it was very disjointed. There was just no structure to it. I also felt the content was a bit clichéd.
    | Posted on 2008-10-11 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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