As deeply sad as this is, I really loved it, not to sound too morbid :P (also re-writing this comment, since it logged me off while I was writing it and thus wouldn't submit my amazing comment T_T.)
The flow was really terrific on this one, even more than most of your writes. That's especially impressive considering not only the short lines used, but the constant impact and meaning- there wasn't one particular spot that climaxed in meaning/impact so much so that it outshined every other part of the write. (given the kind of write and all, that not only shows a lot of talent on your part, but is probably pretty ideal too.)
I was thinking about it, and as far as flow (and meaning) goes, I especially like this part;
"She was never perfect
She was never worth it;"
than I thought about it some more, sound a tiny bit familiar? :P
"I tried to be perfect,
but nothing was worth it,
I don't believe it makes me real"
no worries though, nothing wrong with influences and inspiration (whether in the front of your mind or burried so far back they're not even noticed) shining through- happens to me all the damn time. in thought and in writing :)
aside from that, this whole part flowed REALLY well for me;
"She looks in the mirror
Trying to see clearer;
But gets dizzy and falls faint
She was never perfect
She was never worth it;"
it definitely sounds like it's meant to be sung, like it would be wrong not to, and I love when writing/words transcend that line between writing itself and music so much so that they just instinctively come to me in the form of (or just with) music it makes me smile :)
I love the overall sort of "backtheme" too, so to speak, I generally use that kind of thing to refer to something that seems like a whispering in the background as I'm reading. obviously the overall pain and worthlessness she felt shined on the surface, but you gave a lot of life to her character; there were definite undertones of whether life could really go on just as easily without her- whether she should be so unforgettable and trivial that life really COULD go on without skipping a beat without her. it added a nice effect to the tragedy.
great stuff =] I really am sorry I didn't comment earlier hun, no joke though, I sat down a TON of times to and the comments I came up with just didn't feel good enough for the writing.
This was written very well. I loved it. It flowe well, like water through my mind. It painted a picture before my eyes and the emotion touched me deeply. This was fantastic. Keep up the great work, and I'll keep reading