when u write a poem while talking to a freind u will inevitably do things like this there is more that has been said so i wont comment much on mistakes... it was funny and it seemed to lead some where... one thing i cudnt grasp was ... was it the boy or the girl, who has hate? reply soon bye
There are a few typos. I think you meant She stared at the rose, not She started at the rose. Also there is one that says She had faces him earlier instead of She had faced him earlier. I have an idea for the ending though, She had faced him earlier with cold blooded hate and he had left her with an ice blue rose.
What do you think? I like it because it makes the reader think about why it's an ice blue rose instead of telling them the answer in your last line. But it doesn't make them think too hard. Anyway, nice one. Dave
its a little confusing...the spelling mistakes make it even more confusing I can't make what the words should be. This is good though, I like the imagery...good topic...and a hell of a write for a 13 year old...good job!