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    dots Submission Name: Painted Fantasydots

    Author: Lostlover
    ASL Info:    18/male/az
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 96/99/53
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 519


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPainted Fantasydots

    In despair you vie for my departure
    You contemplate your hate
    Against me
    I am destroyed
    You close your eyes
    In that blackness
    You imagine a painted fantasy
    Swirling vortexes of pain—
    Colors of detestation abound
    And in these colors spawn
    Tales of deception—
    Lies painted across your eyes
    What you see is not reality
    I am not heartless
    Your perception is counterfeit
    A falsified image
    Can’t you see?

    Submitted on 2008-10-14 17:38:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ooh! I really adore the first line! It sets up the poem in an awed way, making me want to read the rest of it.

    I like the word choice, it's original--and interesting.

    I really don't think painted fantasy fits the piece, because when I think painted fantasies, I'm thinking about putting on my rose-colored glasses, and, so, when I read the actual poem, I was a tad disappointed. However, I think that because of that fact, maybe, it really is a good title. Expect the unexpected type of thing! Good write!

    | Posted on 2008-10-14 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you write like myself, that is if I could write somethig good that wasn't fuled only by raw emoation. You use pure, simple, and raw emoation. Yet you have found a way to dress it up like most never could. You do good work on here.
    | Posted on 2008-10-14 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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