Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fragile Industrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 740
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 652



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFragile Industrydots
    -------------------------------------------



    ###

    It's the tears that produce me,
    Tears that seduce me
    And in the end of a lonesome truth
    It's the pain that consumes me

    As I wake for the sleepers,
    Shake for the creepers
    In the quiet times of night
    I lose for the keepers

    But strange, in the end
    How much I pretend
    To shy away the darkness
    As though I can mend

    And I tell you my dreams
    That daylight redeems
    As illusions of a victim
    Who's not as she seems

    But am I weak?




    Submitted on 2008-10-17 22:17:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD WRITE. I READ IT A FEW TIMES !!!! IT ALMOST SEEMED EDGAR-ISH. I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY CRITIQUE OR SUGGESTION, I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

    great write
    llcollins
    | Posted on 2008-10-18 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed well and the imagery was nice. Not alot of emotion, but hinting at it. I liked it very much. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading

    »Haely«
    | Posted on 2008-10-18 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167022

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Love written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Records I written by Raphael
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry