Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Days to yearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katlord
    ASL Info:    24/no thanks/my room
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 375/199/101
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 500



    Description:
       I don't know if the title works or nto but I'm trying to dig myself out of a rut so bare with me please. Comments are appreciated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDays to yearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I find myself crying,
    Wishing for the love we once shared.
    My heart has given up,
    It has hidden itself with anger and tears.

    I wish, to hear the those words come from your lips,
    And rest gracefully upon my ears.
    To show you one last time,
    How much Iíve always cared.

    I miss the way you held me,
    The way you kissed away my fears.
    I long for your companionship,
    As the sad days turn into lonely years.




    Submitted on 2008-10-18 06:14:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, it's good. There could be some changes made, but I do like it.

    On this line,
    "I wish, to hear _the_ those words come from your lips"

    Typo, I'm sure. I don't dock it against ya.

    I liked the last stanza especially, close syllable equality between interchanging lines and... I'm a fan of rhyming.

    Not that a poem must rhyme to be a poem but... it just sounds nice. Babies even like poetry that rhymes; and, not necessarily children's poetry. I've found, through personal study, that babies like grown up poetry even more. One of my nephews likes Annabel Lee, The Raven, Hymn to the Night, and even The Jewish Cemetery at Newport. Namely, Poe and Longfellow. It's when they get a little older and they know that they don't understand the words that they no longer like it.

    Sorry, that was a personal note.

    Anyway, good poem.




    | Posted on 2009-01-04 00:00:00 | by alittlebithippy | [ Reply to This ]
      OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1 I love t5his poem! I like the emotion! LOL! I always like your poems tho!
    | Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167033

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry