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    dots Submission Name: Retribution dots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1044
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 869


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    dotsRetribution dots


    The escape comes as a bright and numbing sonata
    In a violent shove towards the future
    Where the nights seem sacred - somehow
    And the monsters stand still
    In their deformed expressions
    And their blasphemous eyes

    And I walk beneath, beside, above
    Away from the grasping delirium of consciousness
    That tugs at the heart on my sleeve
    Oh, so ecstatically
    But I am the conspiracy to life
    And they cannot have it anymore

    The notion of fire that rocks in my bowels
    Now dismantles my walls and my statuettes
    And I am free to move - to go
    To insanity so lucid as it never was
    I will never be broken again
    And I will stomp on my enemies


    Submitted on 2008-10-18 09:04:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "To insanity so lucid as it never was"

    I love that line. It expresses perfectly that frantic state of mind that makes objects look like glass. This is another good poem from you. You paint really good pictures of these outer worlds. The only thing that could be improved is the structure. Your style really lends itself to perfectly equal lines and a fixed pattern. You know that. But sometimes when you write out of fury you really can't do it. :)
    | Posted on 2008-11-17 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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