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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Searchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FlickerofHope
    ASL Info:    17/Male/TN
    Elite Ratio:    7.15 - 92/82/34
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 873



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Searchdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Searching for answers
    Seeking redemption

    Looking through the dense fog
    That clouds my life

    Trying to hear over
    The sounds of my own struggles

    To hear the voice of the one
    Who can save my life
    But there is no sound
    No voice

    As is there no light
    That can pierce the fog

    So I continue to lead
    This tortured and pained life

    Not waiting idly for redemption
    But searching wildly for it
    Seeking it even through the darkness

    While I believed it before
    Now I know otherwise
    There is a glimmer of hope
    Where I used to believe
    There wasn't

    So I'll continue to search
    Continue through the pain
    So I can find
    That voice
    That light




    Submitted on 2008-10-19 00:15:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It sounds like you are in the right path of healing. Good to hear it. I like the poem it reminds me that I am not the only one struggling to find faith. At least for me it would be again. I don't know about you though cause I did at one time have faith.
    There is one line that I don't know about. It is not bad I can understand it but it is in iffy.

    "As is there no light
    That can pierce the fog"

    "As there is no light
    That can pierce the fog"

    I think it would sound more flowing that way. Like I said I understand what you are trying to convey the way you have it. But if you are trying to make it flow I think it needs to be the other way.
    I really think this poem could help others remember that they are not alone when it comes to questioning faith. That it would help them fight even more to not give up. Do the same don't give up and keep searching for God.
    | Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by DemonofHeaven | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, it's curious.... I was just going through some old diaries entries and somehow your writing seems to resemble my own when I was younger. I understand the pain but I no longer write things like that or at least I essay to cast them aside, for that matter ... I reckon they just muck up one's mind.

    As to the writing itself I'd say that I was fond of the light piercing the fog ... that was a beautifully conveyed idea that was full of emotions, opened for many interpretations and was worthwhile noticing, too boot.

    As a general comment I'd say that I like your writing but that I would consider trying to be less obvious as to what you feel and to strive to avoid bringing up spoon-fed emotions. Thatís what I could suggest from were I'm standing.

    I didn't mean to be self-righteous in any way, just needed to give you my opinion, no harm intended, of course.


    Warm regards,

    Ethan

    PS: your search is many people's search
    | Posted on 2008-10-19 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      And never give up that search my friend
    It took me 34 years before I finally found His (Gods) Love and realised it was with me the whole time it was just my own stupidity at the time that always turned Him away
    Its always good to put your feelings into words though as you just did
    I know when I do it always makes me feel much better
    Look to Your Heart my Friend thats where He is just waiting for you to invite Him imto Your Life
    God Bless
    Ron
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2008-10-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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