You are Time Endless, 'Soul' and 'Fire',
Your thoughts yet Cold, my heart's desire
Lost in your eyes,
Wasteland of blue.
So dangerous is the path to you.
Your world, a metaphor of mind,
Your dreams sublime, your words unkind.
Perhaps. But true,
My Heaven now, belongs to you.
You are the Space, I am inside
Lost in your power to Divide
And along my Self
In thousand stories, on a Shelf.
I think you see, you see through me,
Yet you Create my thoughts, to be
The notes you seek -
I'm just the muse,
The Thing that always has to loose.
This flowed so nicely..
I read in an above comment that you have a way with ryhming and I cannot help but agree.
It is a talet, and I am glad to see you embrace it.
I greatly enjoy how so far each of your poems has evoked something in me; whether it be thoughts, memories, or old feelings.
And, congradulations- this is your second poem that is going in my favorites.
|| Posted on 2009-01-11 00:00:00 | by EpsilonpsiiChi | [ Reply to This ] || I agree with Pocelaine|
You have a way with rhyming poetry
You are quite good at it my Friend
This one flows very well and the intamacy of the poem carries ones mind to some interesting places (lol)
Looking forward to reading more from you in the future
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
|| Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || I find myself entertained by the structure of your poems. The way you construct your lines is completely unexpected and framed with excellent rhymes. The punctuation marks are really fitting, they determine the rhythm just right. My mind is wrapped around every line and yet...it's tricky. The interpretation escapes me next to all the consuming phrases and the idyllic lull of the rhythm and once I take into consideration the title you used I still hesitate to make a conclusion because I know that, more then anything, nothing is ever as it seems when it comes to you or the way you present your thoughts. I wish I had your sense of composition. My poems never sound as compelling as yours :( I'm jealous.||| Posted on 2008-10-22 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ] |