It intrigues and grips for it's lines but it is entirely too hectic. I had a period of using a similar style myself but it's not something I would call fertile unless you are trying to evolve your sense of expressionism. Your images are very strong. It's intense and shows that you have a lot of talent in fragments that need to be put together like pieces of a puzzle. Some of the motifs seemed unfit somehow (tennis shoes for example) since most of the poem gives off the impression of being a fantasy piece.
The repeating line:
"Dreamers are destroyed
...is great, except I can't quite grasp what the second line means in the connection to the first. Either your abstractions are too complex or your metaphors inadequate but the interpretation of this poem is a mission impossible and, if existing, only decipherable by you alone.