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You whispered into my ear,
softly, softly, as loud as screams.
The words you spoke repeated,
repeated, until they defeaned me.
Your voice went unheard,
my emotions unnerved.
How many screams does it take to get to me?
Let your scream grow louder, louder, now,
let them blend together until they fade into...
| pottery perhaps?|
or something less demanding?
|| Posted on 2009-05-24 00:00:00 | by HatmaOfHarem | [ Reply to This ] || I really love when someone can write just a few words but put so much power behind it, and leave you feeling shocked by the words. It gave an almost haunting feeling, very intense and descriptive. Excellent format, it had a great flow, almost sounded like it could be lyrics.|
On contrary to what sunnehbabe said, "Softly, softly, as loud as screams." Not making sense, I do believe I understand what you are trying to portray with those words. You have to look at it differently then with a black and white mindset.
I feel like you were sort of saying, that they were only soft whispers but to you it gave the same impact on you as if someone were screaming in your ear.
Ah! *Jumps about*
I'm so proud of Kenzie!
|| Posted on 2009-02-17 00:00:00 | by Eyamma | [ Reply to This ] || I love the format in this poem. Some of it was confusing, yet you kept it on the subject. I like how you grew suspence and the urge to read on. Short and sweet, nice way to keep it. This was unclear; "Softly, softly, as loud as screams." To me, that doesn't make much since. I geuss sometimes you could refer to something like that, such as; "Soft>Loud." o.o; It made me feel sad, and angry.... Keep up the work :) Thank you.|
|| Posted on 2009-02-06 00:00:00 | by Sunnehbabe | [ Reply to This ] |