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    dots Submission Name: Adieudots

    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 964


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    You were like the evening star
    that flickered across my sky.
    A fleeting thing, you were,
    some thing I could not touch.
    No matter how far I reached,
    you swept into the unknown,
    I tried to follow you inside,
    but became lost along the way.
    Like the solid spider's web,
    I was captured with no where to go.
    When I found myself on a single road,
    the beginning, I failed to recall,
    but trudged following it's coils.
    I was led, following behind,
    your shimmer was my guide.
    The trail you left behind,
    it grew vague, it grew weary.
    My eyes grasped for you,
    but longed for morning's light.
    With a sudden burst,
    you became the super nova.
    I bore witness to your fall,
    shooting star, you were never mine.
    So, with that said, I let you out of my sight.
    And, I let the sun begin to rise.

    Submitted on 2008-10-23 07:22:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "Adieu, my love, adieu..."

    This gave my chills, Kenzie. First of all, you write with such envisioning description, it captivates you into the words and I believe you get the full meaning from it. It is a very good write, really. You kept a good flow to it and each section built up to a finishing touch.

    But on a more personal note,

    I literally can relate to this poem word for word and in fact, it seems like I've said something similar to this before, not in the same words but the same sort of concept. I was with someone once who lit up my life, like evening star flickering across the horizon. But it was very fleeting and then I spent so long just trailing behind, never being able to reach just far enough. Until finally I did let go, to something better.

    *Pets and stamps a badge on your shirt*

    You win!
    | Posted on 2009-02-17 00:00:00 | by Eyamma | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this. I liked the fact that it was short and sweet. All inside one stanza. The end bit, the last line gives a sort of hope to what seemed to be the end of this. It's good. =]
    | Posted on 2008-10-23 00:00:00 | by BlackWingedAnge | [ Reply to This ]

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