Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Adieudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 905
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 964



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAdieudots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were like the evening star
    that flickered across my sky.
    A fleeting thing, you were,
    some thing I could not touch.
    No matter how far I reached,
    you swept into the unknown,
    I tried to follow you inside,
    but became lost along the way.
    Like the solid spider's web,
    I was captured with no where to go.
    When I found myself on a single road,
    the beginning, I failed to recall,
    but trudged following it's coils.
    I was led, following behind,
    your shimmer was my guide.
    The trail you left behind,
    it grew vague, it grew weary.
    My eyes grasped for you,
    but longed for morning's light.
    With a sudden burst,
    you became the super nova.
    I bore witness to your fall,
    shooting star, you were never mine.
    So, with that said, I let you out of my sight.
    And, I let the sun begin to rise.




    Submitted on 2008-10-23 07:22:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "Adieu, my love, adieu..."

    This gave my chills, Kenzie. First of all, you write with such envisioning description, it captivates you into the words and I believe you get the full meaning from it. It is a very good write, really. You kept a good flow to it and each section built up to a finishing touch.

    But on a more personal note,

    I literally can relate to this poem word for word and in fact, it seems like I've said something similar to this before, not in the same words but the same sort of concept. I was with someone once who lit up my life, like evening star flickering across the horizon. But it was very fleeting and then I spent so long just trailing behind, never being able to reach just far enough. Until finally I did let go, to something better.

    *Pets and stamps a badge on your shirt*

    You win!
    | Posted on 2009-02-17 00:00:00 | by Eyamma | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this. I liked the fact that it was short and sweet. All inside one stanza. The end bit, the last line gives a sort of hope to what seemed to be the end of this. It's good. =]
    | Posted on 2008-10-23 00:00:00 | by BlackWingedAnge | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167185

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Incubus written by monad
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry