Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Creators Aren't Mobiledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 993



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Creators Aren't Mobiledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Flames licked up their frozen flesh,
    they reached out with withered limbs.
    Come here dear child, hear your call.
    Dance into the frenzied night,
    feel the stars that shine so bright.
    For you, for you, it was for you.
    The air hangs upon your lungs,
    breathe in, deeply, become it.
    You were the child that saw,
    with not your eyes, but your hands.
    You kneaded into the fitful silence,
    you broke the vacuum with a single gasp.
    The gravity rang like an alarm,
    the life blossomed into being,
    we saw you coming, we meant it to be,
    you are ours, so come, come to me.
    The toes numbed and nipped with frost,
    were first to make your path,
    twisting, winding, finding,
    what you will call home.
    Earth child, we made this world for you,
    come dear, be one with your lovers,
    become like us, solid, stable, lively,
    become the wiser tree.





    Submitted on 2008-10-23 19:50:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks, though I was kind of trying to allude to the fact that the trees are calling out to some body, telling them to become one with nature, to become a tree. Though, I know that it can be taken very differently.
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by dear | [ Reply to This ]
      I find a bit too much complexity in the reading of this poem but I am drawn to certain parts of it. The first line, for instance, forms a ghoulish but compelling start. I didn't really get the full meaning of it but the overall theme seems to fit the upcoming holiday quite well.
    | Posted on 2008-10-29 00:00:00 | by TamarRoze | [ Reply to This ]
      nice
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by shmurr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167205

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Genesis written by saartha
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry