[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Your Creators Aren't Mobiledots

    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 993


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Creators Aren't Mobiledots

    Flames licked up their frozen flesh,
    they reached out with withered limbs.
    Come here dear child, hear your call.
    Dance into the frenzied night,
    feel the stars that shine so bright.
    For you, for you, it was for you.
    The air hangs upon your lungs,
    breathe in, deeply, become it.
    You were the child that saw,
    with not your eyes, but your hands.
    You kneaded into the fitful silence,
    you broke the vacuum with a single gasp.
    The gravity rang like an alarm,
    the life blossomed into being,
    we saw you coming, we meant it to be,
    you are ours, so come, come to me.
    The toes numbed and nipped with frost,
    were first to make your path,
    twisting, winding, finding,
    what you will call home.
    Earth child, we made this world for you,
    come dear, be one with your lovers,
    become like us, solid, stable, lively,
    become the wiser tree.

    Submitted on 2008-10-23 19:50:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks, though I was kind of trying to allude to the fact that the trees are calling out to some body, telling them to become one with nature, to become a tree. Though, I know that it can be taken very differently.
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by dear | [ Reply to This ]
      I find a bit too much complexity in the reading of this poem but I am drawn to certain parts of it. The first line, for instance, forms a ghoulish but compelling start. I didn't really get the full meaning of it but the overall theme seems to fit the upcoming holiday quite well.
    | Posted on 2008-10-29 00:00:00 | by TamarRoze | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by shmurr | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    To written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]