Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Creators Aren't Mobiledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dear
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 8/16/19
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 993



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Creators Aren't Mobiledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Flames licked up their frozen flesh,
    they reached out with withered limbs.
    Come here dear child, hear your call.
    Dance into the frenzied night,
    feel the stars that shine so bright.
    For you, for you, it was for you.
    The air hangs upon your lungs,
    breathe in, deeply, become it.
    You were the child that saw,
    with not your eyes, but your hands.
    You kneaded into the fitful silence,
    you broke the vacuum with a single gasp.
    The gravity rang like an alarm,
    the life blossomed into being,
    we saw you coming, we meant it to be,
    you are ours, so come, come to me.
    The toes numbed and nipped with frost,
    were first to make your path,
    twisting, winding, finding,
    what you will call home.
    Earth child, we made this world for you,
    come dear, be one with your lovers,
    become like us, solid, stable, lively,
    become the wiser tree.





    Submitted on 2008-10-23 19:50:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks, though I was kind of trying to allude to the fact that the trees are calling out to some body, telling them to become one with nature, to become a tree. Though, I know that it can be taken very differently.
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by dear | [ Reply to This ]
      I find a bit too much complexity in the reading of this poem but I am drawn to certain parts of it. The first line, for instance, forms a ghoulish but compelling start. I didn't really get the full meaning of it but the overall theme seems to fit the upcoming holiday quite well.
    | Posted on 2008-10-29 00:00:00 | by TamarRoze | [ Reply to This ]
      nice
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by shmurr | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167205

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Release written by robbie
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    HeroĆ­na written by MyPeriodical
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry