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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stars Are Falling(And No One Knows)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 847



    Description:
       **EDITED

    I took out the symbols; perhaps this will help with the flow and deviate from any distraction

    Thanks for the suggestions! =]


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStars Are Falling(And No One Knows)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tonight a star fell into a desolate, but seemingly harmless way of life;
    That was quite contrary to what the heavens had taught it to relish.

    That lone star then looked upon the sky with the vivid lights
    Of many a star who followed the patterns of the Universe
    And shone with all of their brilliance;

    To make a small scene for a small farmer who indulged in midnight artistic dreams-
    (every once when the crickets played her favorite song)

    The universe seemed not to take account of that lone star
    But went on.
    For those who chose to obey its laws.

    Because what would be,
    If the universe stopped every time a star fell?
    *
    *
    *





    Submitted on 2008-10-24 03:10:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this, very original and different than other works ive read, i loved reading it. This is not a conventional piece and i dont think it can be judged as such. A lot of origionality here although i have to agree what has been said about the flow. It can be improved i believe into a great piece but then again i rarely change my work once it has been laid down, dont know about you? Anyways an enjoyable read, looking forward to more... Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2009-09-03 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece a lot, but unlike epiphany I am not a fan of the symbols. I like the idea, I like the actual work. I just find them to be a little distracting. Perhaps that is just me.
    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      I like when people aren't afraid to produce pieces that don't follow the rules. I also like symbols.

    This piece was interesting, a little off on flow, at times, but I liked the images of stars and dreams and what if...

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-10-24 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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