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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ThAt'S Me!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JD_Heckle
    ASL Info:    19/THE Male/Briarwood
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 46/66/23
    Words: 207
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 353
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1251



    Description:
       Bigger Brothers, fathers, and teachers all have to pass the torch sometimes in their life. SKillz I'm gonna TAKE your TORCH!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThAt'S Me!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    That's me, the one that used to look up to you
    the one that always asked you for help
    and when you looked back and laughed
    I still kepting coming back to you.

    As a kid mother always liked you best
    and treated you better than the rest
    the hurt was first implanted deep in my chest
    when you left me alone when I was distressed

    That's me, thoughts of toppling you
    in my head all the time. My ambitions were
    always to be as good as you. But that along
    with my emotions were crushed

    When I was a teen I hung with your friends
    you started your music thing started making ends
    You took me along, like a big bro should
    only to laugh at me and tell me I was no good..

    That's me, shaking in the cold all alone
    with druids holding torches burning my heart.
    I only recognize one, the one with the red
    sickle and hammer...that one was you

    I'm not that little boy getting picked on anymore
    I'll defeat you and send YOU out the door
    This is a battle through and through
    you won't pass the torch
    I'm gonna take if from you!




    Submitted on 2004-07-08 15:09:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i've never seen you so coherently vocal about Skillz. most of the time its just drunken rants about how he stole ur spotlight. u actually go into it here. commendable.~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's alright that you're just mad because I fell asleep reading your peices of work. Thanks for reading my poem all the way through, something I couldn't really do when I was reviewing yours
    | Posted on 2004-07-09 00:00:00 | by JD_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Well... I can apreciate the honesty that this piece emanates but the rhyme scheme is rudimentary to say the least. I can see this is heavily influenced by rap music but that isn't an excuse for using a simple rhyme scheme as rappers nowadays tend to use mad multisyllabic patterns in their rhyming. What can I say ? Keep practicing...
    | Posted on 2004-07-09 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      talk about sibling rivalry! this is a good write and i liked it..sounds like my sister and I except we are only a year apart and we've both got our hands on the torch...
    | Posted on 2004-07-08 00:00:00 | by butterflygirl13 | [ Reply to This ]



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