Description: In one of the lines I say "Maybe its a faze, maybe i will get over it" than in the end,I say that I willl never stop having this feeling, and i know that conterdicts itself, i just have to come up with somthing else, but for now, it will have to do. I know that its cheesy, and probably a bit dumb, but when I sat down to write today, this is what came out, so I cant complain a whole lot. no its not about my own feelings of somone I like, right now Idon't like anybody. Its mainly a peice to a story that I am writing rite now. Feel free to comment on anything you want. You can say it sucked, or whatever. I know that I dont have any comma on words like "Its" and thats because when I did, the words got all messed up and funky so I had to go back and take away the commas, sorry.
Only You -------------------------------------------
Every time
That I look at you,
I cant breathe.
I dont know
if its because
the room has no air
Or
If its because,
You take my breath away.
Either one
Sounds cheesy
And either one
Will do.
All I want
Is to be able
To breath
Without gasping
For breath.
But each time
That I try
You are their
To take away
Whatever I have inside.
All you have to do
Is look at me
With those dusty blue eyes.
Even your smile
Makes me feel dizzy
Inside.
Maybe its just a faze
Maybe I
Will get over it.
Maybe I didnt eat enough
This morning,
And thats why
My head is spinning in fast
Circles
while being around you
Either way,
I cant think.
I cant see
And I cant feel.
I am so numb
Around you.
Its like
You have this power,
Whenever you come around,
To take away my thoughts
My life
My soul.
Its like you have frozen me in time.
I try to move
But cant
Because I am trapped
In your gaze
And touch.
My bones
Feel like rubber
And my knees
Will not stop shaking.
Each time
You walk right by me.
When I try to speak
I cannot
Because each time I try
My words
Are taken away
By your presents
And I am lost
In translation.
I am trapped
In this cage of confusion
Lost
In my own stolen thoughts
And stuck
In the feeling
Or your embrace.
Only you
Have the ability
To place me
In this lost dimension
And only you
Have the power
to make me feel,
This feeling
Of love
Or Maybe I
Am just going crazy
Or maybe
I
Am dreaming
But either way,
This feeling,
I have
only For you
Will never fade away
There's nothing wrong with leaving out comma in a piece such as this. The whole thing about deep feelings is that thoughts become as one long sentence that punctation can not change.
I like the way you explore whether it is love or just an infatuation. I think everyone in love can relate to this since feelings of love seems like the person has jumped into one's self. Then I like the way you say forever in the last line. I think if every husand and wife would take this poem and read it to each other everyday there wouldn't be so much divorce. Divorce is only the outcome of a husband and wife not saying often enough the thoughts you express in this piece.
Submission Name: Only You
