Only You
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Description:
In one of the lines I say "Maybe its a faze, maybe i will get over it" than in the end,I say that I willl never stop having this feeling, and i know that conterdicts itself, i just have to come up with somthing else, but for now, it will have to do. I know that its cheesy, and probably a bit dumb, but when I sat down to write today, this is what came out, so I cant complain a whole lot. no its not about my own feelings of somone I like, right now Idon't like anybody. Its mainly a peice to a story that I am writing rite now. Feel free to comment on anything you want. You can say it sucked, or whatever. I know that I dont have any comma on words like "Its" and thats because when I did, the words got all messed up and funky so I had to go back and take away the commas, sorry.
Only You
Every time That I look at you, I cant breathe. I dont know if its because the room has no air Or If its because, You take my breath away. Either one Sounds cheesy And either one Will do. All I want Is to be able To breath Without gasping For breath. But each time That I try You are their To take away Whatever I have inside. All you have to do Is look at me With those dusty blue eyes. Even your smile Makes me feel dizzy Inside. Maybe its just a faze Maybe I Will get over it. Maybe I didnt eat enough This morning, And thats why My head is spinning in fast Circles while being around you Either way, I cant think. I cant see And I cant feel. I am so numb Around you. Its like You have this power, Whenever you come around, To take away my thoughts My life My soul. Its like you have frozen me in time. I try to move But cant Because I am trapped In your gaze And touch. My bones Feel like rubber And my knees Will not stop shaking. Each time You walk right by me. When I try to speak I cannot Because each time I try My words Are taken away By your presents And I am lost In translation. I am trapped In this cage of confusion Lost In my own stolen thoughts And stuck In the feeling Or your embrace. Only you Have the ability To place me In this lost dimension And only you Have the power to make me feel, This feeling Of love Or Maybe I Am just going crazy Or maybe I Am dreaming But either way, This feeling, I have only For you Will never fade away From my beating heart |
Submitted on 2008-10-24 18:02:22 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments
| The only negitive is that it is a bit long. But the reader be damned on a piece like this. This is for you, so it doen't matter what anyone else says. Over all a good piece. | Posted on 2008-11-07 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ] | There's nothing wrong with leaving out comma in a piece such as this. The whole thing about deep feelings is that thoughts become as one long sentence that punctation can not change. | I like the way you explore whether it is love or just an infatuation. I think everyone in love can relate to this since feelings of love seems like the person has jumped into one's self. Then I like the way you say forever in the last line. I think if every husand and wife would take this poem and read it to each other everyday there wouldn't be so much divorce. Divorce is only the outcome of a husband and wife not saying often enough the thoughts you express in this piece. | Posted on 2008-10-29 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ] | |
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