I like the repeating line in this as it reminds me of a recitative, almost as if it's performance art. I do like the spareness and it's simple quality. It shows how you respect the power of words. And how you make sense of the ways we're connected with nature and each other. Well done, thanks for sharing.
I liked the dual meaning altar of innocence
innocence altered. The refrain works well. with the piece the feeling is desolate. The only thing that felt odd to me was
"My arid words are nothing more
Than ancient dust clouds rising"
While i love those lines it seemed like it came about too quick. I think the thing is that you suddenly switch from this impersonal narator feel to a first person account; your own words.
the arid words made me think desert as well and aided the feeling of emptiness. Overall I enjoyed this thanks.
I may be mistaken but it seems like that we had turned our back on our virtues that we once carried and now that there is no more we are haunted by the very emptiness of what we have taken, or like being left to be taken by the dark ages. But what do I know, it was interesting, like the abyss of a memory. Your only remembered as long as someone else is alive to remember you by.
The Wolf is a symbol of wisdom in indian lore, and I intrepret this poem to be an ode to the world's turning away from true wisdom in a modern technological age; I interpret the long piercing howl of darkness to be a universal lament for the death and loss of wisdom! This is a haunting write, with a higly charged philosophical tone! Nice work!
if i am correct, this piece is about the hypathetical end. Not really the end of anything, but the end. also, how this "end" haunts people. hm. strange. it made me laugh. I have no remorse so nothing can haunt me.
Submission Name: Haunting you
