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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Haunting youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Paradox
    ASL Info:    33/m/Earthbound
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 1055/435/90
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 951
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       This is another one of my old poems. I hope you like it!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHaunting youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    On the last altar of innocence
    A gray wolf was sacrificed

    Long piercing howl of darkness

    The universe begins to close
    Its burning eyes one by one

    Long piercing howl of darkness

    My arid words are nothing more
    Than ancient dust clouds rising

    Long piercing howl of darkness

    Haunting you




    Submitted on 2008-10-24 19:14:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      now this. I love. hauntings. things that trigger you mind. that break your heart. that tear you flesh right off your skin and hold it up laughing. this is one of those. the way you wrote it made me think of a wolf. made me think of an alter. losing innocence. you have inspired me to write a poem now. I must go and do it. lol.
    it was incredible. Thank you my muse.
    Rachel:)
    | Posted on 2010-01-13 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the repeating line in this as it reminds me of a recitative, almost as if it's performance art. I do like the spareness and it's simple quality. It shows how you respect the power of words. And how you make sense of the ways we're connected with nature and each other. Well done, thanks for sharing.

    Nan
    | Posted on 2008-11-23 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the dual meaning altar of innocence
    innocence altered. The refrain works well. with the piece the feeling is desolate. The only thing that felt odd to me was
    "My arid words are nothing more
    Than ancient dust clouds rising"
    While i love those lines it seemed like it came about too quick. I think the thing is that you suddenly switch from this impersonal narator feel to a first person account; your own words.
    the arid words made me think desert as well and aided the feeling of emptiness. Overall I enjoyed this thanks.
    | Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      You achieved something It seems no one else attempts anymore, Actually using your poetry to make someone feel...

    Although not a happy emotion envoked It still made me feel.

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-11-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I may be mistaken but it seems like that we had turned our back on our virtues that we once carried and now that there is no more we are haunted by the very emptiness of what we have taken, or like being left to be taken by the dark ages. But what do I know, it was interesting, like the abyss of a memory. Your only remembered as long as someone else is alive to remember you by.


    Faid
    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by faideddarkness | [ Reply to This ]
      The Wolf is a symbol of wisdom in indian lore, and I intrepret this poem to be an ode to the world's turning away from true wisdom in a modern technological age; I interpret the long piercing howl of darkness to be a universal lament for the death and loss of wisdom! This is a haunting write, with a higly charged philosophical tone! Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      if i am correct, this piece is about the hypathetical end. Not really the end of anything, but the end. also, how this "end" haunts people. hm. strange. it made me laugh. I have no remorse so nothing can haunt me.
    | Posted on 2008-10-25 00:00:00 | by Old | [ Reply to This ]


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