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    dots Submission Name: Ominous lightdots

    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 864


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOminous lightdots

    The sky a deep navy blue,
    I stand out here and think.
    Think only of you.

    Dark clouds are littered across the sky,
    but so slow they move,
    I relize not that time pass by.

    Stars shine not so bright,
    the only thing giving sight to my eyes,
    save the moon and its ominous light.

    My eyes linger on no particular mark,
    watching shadows fall from trees,
    I stare of into the dark.

    Sudden light breaks the sky,
    and dawn strikes back the night.
    Soon to the world I must lie.

    So I hide up in my mind,
    behind this facade,
    im deep inside,

    My head,
    wishing for eternal sleep.
    The sleep of the dead.

    Calm and content,
    the pain at its end,
    happiness was never ment.

    Submitted on 2008-10-25 14:28:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i liked it! it sounded original and this part creates a nice picture:
    Sudden light breaks the sky,
    and dawn strikes back the night.
    Soon to the world I must lie.
    the last stanza confuses me. how can the pain be at its end if happiness was never ment. idk. maybe im not thinking hard enough. some spelling mistakes. but overall, wonderfully written!
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by tricklingrain | [ Reply to This ]
      nice writing , I loved it but

    " Stars shine not so bright,
    the only thing giving sight to ((mine)) eyes,
    save the moon and its ominous light. "

    did you mean (( My )) ???

    anyways , I liked it and loved it

    hope to read more , continue the previous one to this poem , am kinda waiting for that
    | Posted on 2008-10-25 00:00:00 | by Squall Leon Hea | [ Reply to This ]

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