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    dots Submission Name: dance and lovedots

    Author: beth freese
    ASL Info:    18.F.Earth
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 74/113/39
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 608


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    dotsdance and lovedots

    I just want to focus on the dances I'm dancing and the loves I'm loving.

    I don't want to remember the gives I'm giving (or the gives I'm giving up). I don't want to think about the forgives I'm forgiving (or the ones I'm not). I don't want to bother with the mads I'm madding or the sads I'm sadding (or the sads I'm madding or the mads I'm sadding.)

    I only want to dances the dances and love the loves.

    and in the end,

    in the end, that's all I wish to remember.

    Submitted on 2008-10-26 08:55:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      pretty awesome. i think you could expand on it, usually i like things simple and crisp but on this i would talk more. my favorite part was the ending. you could also include the words in parenthesis in the poem instead of just keeping them out of the point. when i read the first line, i thought of my fried who loves, and i mean loves, to dance. its her passion and love. i think you feel this way. it was very nice how you took the form of the first sentence and created a whole nother idea. great!
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by tricklingrain | [ Reply to This ]
      Happy Day!

    I just posted a piece with Dance in the title and this is the season of dancing change

    The leaves that change color and fall to the ground a blanket - they do not mourn. This piece seems a bit of mourning and of life - remember and be the NOW ~*~

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-10-26 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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