A Matter of Consequence
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Description:
Gotta keep on writing.
A Matter of Consequence
I realized, I smoke too much I have math homework tomorrow I realized, I don't smoke enough.. I spent the day with some friends each one of them complained I smelled I realized, I smoke too much. I went outside and met three people each one of them more complex all of them lighting up I realized, I don't smoke enough. I went to the bank today, each trip my numbers dwindle all the time, I'm getting poorer, soon I'll be broke I realized, I smoke too much. I started to shake each convulsion more potent than the last all of them wracking, soon, I'll shake myself to pieces, nothing left but my torso. I realized, I don't smoke enough. I have a poster on my wall each line describes a different symptom all of them unnerving soon, I'll start developing them nothing left of my lungs everything going numb I realized, I smoke too much. I went to the doctor today each word he said hit me like a brick, all of them meant devestation soon, he said, I will be dead. nothing can cure it everything seems moot now. my brain is shutting down. I realized, it doesn't matter. I'm going to the gym tomorrow. |
Submitted on 2008-10-27 09:47:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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This I don't know how I really feel about. I like the idea, to work isn't bad, but I don't know. I do like that you seem to have your own style. This is if nothing, is like nothing I have read on this site before. Over all on a scale of 1 to 10 I think this is hitting somewhere around 6.5 to 7.2 you definitely have something here. | | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ] | Interesting | This piece really does personify that inner struggle people deal with on a level that reaches out to everyone. I believe it's a little uncoordinated only because the beginning stanza's take on a roll that says you believe a certain thing but ends with more of an existentialist point of view. Over all though it was worth reading and I am curious about what some of your other pieces might be. -Poppi | Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ] | |
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