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A Matter of Consequence

Author: Imadjinn
ASL Info:    17/M/Neverwhere
Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 340 /348 /146
Words: 215
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1134
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1515


Gotta keep on writing.

A Matter of Consequence

I realized,
I smoke too much

I have math homework tomorrow
I realized,
I don't smoke enough..

I spent the day with some friends
each one of them complained I smelled
I realized,
I smoke too much.

I went outside and met three people
each one of them more complex
all of them lighting up
I realized,
I don't smoke enough.

I went to the bank today,
each trip my numbers dwindle
all the time, I'm getting poorer,
soon I'll be broke
I realized,
I smoke too much.

I started to shake
each convulsion more potent than the last
all of them wracking,
soon, I'll shake myself to pieces,
nothing left but my torso.
I realized,
I don't smoke enough.

I have a poster on my wall
each line describes a different symptom
all of them unnerving
soon, I'll start developing them
nothing left of my lungs
everything going numb
I realized,
I smoke too much.

I went to the doctor today
each word he said hit me like a brick,
all of them meant devestation
soon, he said, I will be dead.
nothing can cure it
everything seems moot now.
my brain is shutting down.
I realized,
it doesn't matter.

I'm going to the gym tomorrow.

Submitted on 2008-10-27 09:47:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This I don't know how I really feel about. I like the idea, to work isn't bad, but I don't know. I do like that you seem to have your own style. This is if nothing, is like nothing I have read on this site before. Over all on a scale of 1 to 10 I think this is hitting somewhere around 6.5 to 7.2 you definitely have something here.
| Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

This piece really does personify that inner struggle people deal with on a level that reaches out to everyone. I believe it's a little uncoordinated only because the beginning stanza's take on a roll that says you believe a certain thing but ends with more of an existentialist point of view. Over all though it was worth reading and I am curious about what some of your other pieces might be.

| Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ]

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