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    dots Submission Name: Traindots

    Author: proudleaper
    ASL Info:    14 F Ontario, Canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.03 - 4/18/11
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 643
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1304

       This isn't done yet.
    thought i'd submit anyway
    i hate feeling this way.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It’s not so cold
    when there’s other things to ponder.
    Despite the wind that provoked my bare legs
    I was warm with oblivion.

    It wasn’t peace or calamity that kept me still.
    Nor was it that I was content or accepting
    hushed, lulled and glazed
    I was fitting in.

    You’d think , with all the silence
    clarity would come easily.
    Instead I conjure jumbled confusion;
    a fight for some concentration and attention

    captivated and immediately aware,
    my focus turns to a single sound;
    a haunting howl determined to shatter the night
    into sharp shards of broken reflection

    A sad moan
    that mournful cry
    resounding from everywhere
    and coming from no where.

    When did it get so cold?
    goose bumped legs jolt into motion
    while lucidity resolves
    to make an unexpected appearance.

    Pull me.
    Take me
    Guide me
    Break me

    Split me apart
    take the superior parts
    and leave the fucked up bits
    for someone else to trash

    let me follow in your wake
    carry me on your hollow wail
    and show me why
    it sounds so sweet

    Submitted on 2008-10-28 01:30:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      whoa. talk about gripping poetry. and you said this wasn't even finished? absolutely stunning, if you don't mind me saying. everything was nice and light with the "its not so cold" and then BAM! everything got dark and creepy and with the howl. but you really made me want to follow the howl and see whats up. its like, "yeah, this is creepy, but it could be worth it" well done indeed. i think the title is perfect and look forward to seeing this poem "finished."

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]

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