OKAY NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS STRUCTURE. WAS THIS AN ORIGINAL IDEA OR DID YOU SEE THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE? EITHER WAY IT PUTS THIS POEM ON A DIFFERENT SHELF. THE RISE AND FALL SHAPE OF THE VISUAL AND THE WORDING SUPPORTING IT SO WELL GIVES THIS AUTOMATIC BONUS POINTS. THE WAY IT BEGINS WITH YOU AND ENDS WITH ME IS SO POETIC BY ITSELF. I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE AT LEAST ONE THING OF NON-PREFERENCES BUT THE CLEVERNESS OF THIS POEM MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO FAULT.
the structure of the poem remminds me of a graph. it,s like you think you have found your true love , the lines get longer, like the pulse quickening, then you have your doubts, the puls gets slower the lines get shorter.
well thats how i saw, read it. interesting structure, good poem
Very nice usage of pronouns in this poem haha. But seriously this poem is pretty good. The flow was a little awkward because of the format, but I like that you tried something different with the formatting. I like how the first set of lines are really positive and loving, and then the second set of lines throws you into a different scene; a scene of aloness and darkness. This was overall a pretty good poem, even though I'm not a big fan of the structure here, but like I said, you tried something different, and I commend you for it. Good message too by the way.