Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dragondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nightangelgale
    Elite Ratio:    0.01 - 0/2/1
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 71
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 954



    Description:
       poetry by Lisa Hiatt


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDragondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I saw in my father's eyes the beast arising,
    like a mighty dragon it reared its ugly head.
    the hate hypnotizing,
    filling my little heart with dread.

    he smiled evilly with his sharp toothy grin,
    his large paws descend.
    I close my eyes hiding the fear within,
    wishing with all my might for a hero to defend.

    what had I done that warranted his wrath,
    the blows that came had drawn first blood.
    the marks left behind made a permanent scaring path
    I climbed to my little feet again bleeding in the murky mud.

    Now as a parent I have become the slayer,
    I have slain the mighty dragon called abuse.
    I teach my children years later,
    that to hurt others is just an excuse.

    You climb to your feet,
    and turn the other cheek.
    abuse has found defeat,
    the dragon is the one who is battered and weak.




    Submitted on 2008-10-28 14:38:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
       This is still a little ruff in some spots, over all I say it�s not bad for your first submit.

    While I would never advocate the abuse of children (or anyone for that matter) I must say I think the lack of discipline (particularly of the corporal variety) is one of the biggest problems with America today. Even teens have a very limited ability to rationalize, children have none at all. How is one to reason with one that has no ration�al? You cannot do so. Too often I think people equate any kind of physical punishment with abuse, and that simply is not the case.


    And for support, I can't remember exact book and verse, but you should remeber the passage; Spare the rod, spoil the child.
    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      "I teach my children years later,
    that to hurt others is just an excuse."

    These words are undeniably true. There is no reason for hurting others (although our imperfect minds and hearts always think there is).

    "Return evil for evil to no one. Provide fine things in the sight of all men. If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men." - Romans 12:17, 18

    I like the comparison of the abuser to a dragon. Fearsome, strong, overpowering, and evil. Although, I'm not certain that all dragons are evil, but in this case, this one is. The comparison was really well done and it helped bring some good imagery to the piece.

    Continue using imagery. It is 'a thousand words' exhibited in but a few. And that is the magic of poetry. It paints a picture that we ourselves could not.

    We are all artists. Remember that.

    This piece contains a valuable lesson, and I am glad you shared it. Thank you, o wise one.

    May you fly free.
    ~Nocona
    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by Nocona | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.