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    dots Submission Name: Part II: Proud like Horusdots

    Author: Nocona
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 4/2/2
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 741
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 535

       Edit: Changed last word from "flight" to "spirit"

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPart II: Proud like Horusdots

    I am a frightful dark brown
    sky explosion,
    wings straight and sound-defying

    I, with my hooked sword
    of a beak, tear into
    the lives of my prey.
    My eyes know the colour of red.

    So is the way of the hawk.
    I, the speed demon of the air,
    am eager for the taste of flesh.

    I, Nocona,
    seek from high above.
    I am sleek like the wind
    and proud like Horus.

    Wings straight and man-defying

    Submitted on 2008-10-28 16:48:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice poem. I'd like to turn you on to a poem called "Hurt Hawks" by Robinson Jeffers, because it's kind of in the same vein, and I bet you'd like it. It's bound to be on the internet somewhere. Let me know what you think.
    | Posted on 2008-11-03 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      For some reason this reminds me of those horrible 'I am' poems we had to do back in middle school. Not because this is horrible, but because of the formulaic feel to your stanzas.

    A little detail: I think it would be more accurate to replace the word 'hawk' with 'falcon,' as falcons are both the faster of the two birds and more closely related with the god Horus.

    I'm not too fond of poets using their name within their poem, but at the same time I recognize that name-insertion sometimes has a great deal of meaning. Was there meaning to putting your name in here?

    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent indeed, I liked this piece a lot, it reminded me of a native American indian narrating the poem to me, I dont know if that was your intention but it certainly worked on me.
    would be pleased to read more of your work if it is in this vain.
    thank you.

    | Posted on 2008-10-28 00:00:00 | by jamar2 | [ Reply to This ]

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