Love is like a Rose. -------------------------------------------
Love is like a rose;
The firm stem grows as it supports,
Petals hug with affection,
And the smell lingers-
Emanating from the skin of a lover;
Hue of blushing brides.
Transforms to night,
Wilts and dies.
The only thing I would change is the title and the first line and maybe the blushing brides... they are clichés; imho... all done and redone to death. But I like what follows (minus the blushing bride). I don't have any real alternatives to give you. But I think the piece has a chance with an edit.
The firm stem grows as it supports,
Petals hug with affection,
And the smell lingers-
Emanating from the skin of a lover;
[blushing hues]. (?)
Transforms to night,
Wilts and dies.
Submission Name: Love is like a Rose.
