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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My calldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Duke Medhat
    ASL Info:    21/Male/Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    5.08 - 58/38/24
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 853
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1323



    Description:
       I just want to mention that "call" here means "decision".
    Each stanza's rhyme is (ababbaa) the rhyme had been broken down from me in the 4th stanza, so the rhyme of the 4th stanza is (ababbbb)
    Enjoy it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy calldots
    -------------------------------------------


    In any day, the drops fall and fall
    From the sky, from an eye, but why?
    Is it a fate? Is it a call?
    Neither fate nor call, it's a lie
    A complex lie
    If you passed by, pause to hear my call
    The sound of my soul

    It's an oath, which had been spoken
    Success shall traffic with me and you
    Till dead people re-awaken
    Till angels do what they used to do
    And so do you
    But that oath has to be broken
    As prophecy spoken

    Look at the pale sky and wonder
    Why the clouds never give a sigh?
    Don't answer, just walk, just ponder
    What can the clouds see from the sky
    Cannot see I?
    I wander as the clouds wander
    And as the thunder

    My love, there is naught I can say
    Except, that a goddess you are
    You can charm anybody, at any day
    O goddess, have I gone so far?
    Am I a czar?
    Now, my feelings towards you are
    Naught, but old scar

    Naught else to do, not a good art
    A good art of losing naught, till now
    I was the fool, you was the smart
    To touch the stars, was my fool vow
    I don't know how
    It is the end, so please don't start
    Please, just depart




    Submitted on 2008-10-29 13:27:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i am impressed by your persistence to stay with the ababbaa you decided on but i am concerned that you limit your talent and the fact that you make very noticeable grammar errors just to maintain the meter. you stilt your expression.

    i can relate to wondering what what path i am to take in life, what is my destination, how will i get there, who will i be. if i do this now will it affect me later? what is my destiny? all men face it and sometimes as life just continues you on, the world delivers the message to us. whether by circumstance it is given freely or that we must reach out and grasp it.

    thank you for sharing.

    Ash

    | Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]


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