Cry To the World
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Description:
i know, i know definetly a work in progress....
but let me know your comments
but let me know your comments
Cry To the World
Cry to the world Tell them of your pains and sorrows Force them to see what they have done to you Tell them how the days of old are gone When everything made sense and when the road to take was clear A new age has begun Its time to face the truth The past that once was Shall never be again In this new age I have no idea who I am I'm dragging a corpse of the girl I used to be She's a burden, a constant reminder of the past I've changed and I don't want to go back I've kept the best things of me The things I loved and felt made me me I'm tired of people pointing to the mirror and saying that that's not me Cry to the world to leave the corpse rest in peace Tell them to embrace the past Keep it stored as a good memory but don't project it into this new age The road has been taken This is who I am No apologies |
Submitted on 2008-10-29 17:22:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| so are you trying to forget the past and what you used to be? or is it that people don't accept who your are? thats my interpretation of your poem. although i feel differently about this, i think it was a very nice poem. my favorite part was the ending stanza: The road has been taken This is who I am No apologies how you talked about your kid-self as a corpse is different but it creates a powerful picture. great job, and let me know when your done with it.:D -tricklingrain | Posted on 2008-10-31 00:00:00 | by tricklingrain | [ Reply to This ] | the poem is not bad, like you say it is not yet finished.you are writing about how you have broken with the past and now you are taking a new road, leading a new life and you are right when you say no apoligies at the end of the poem, it,s your life. now you have decided to put in down in print, a cry to the world , i like the titel, maybe you should put in some metaphors or visions to describe your feelings better, the line about the corpse, i would personnaly change that for something better, a metaphor maybe, you know like "monkey on my back" (the only one that springs to my mind)something like that. like you said it is still in writting and the idea, theme is good, i,m sure you can make it much better. | thanks for sharing take care | Posted on 2008-10-29 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ] | |
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