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    dots Submission Name: you and medots

    Author: lalalicious
    Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0/1/1
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 435
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 695

       Free verse. And I purposely didn't use capitals for style.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou and medots

    at first i thought you were
    perhaps a little unique.
    i got to know you day by day,
    and now it seems
    deep down you're not what i thought at all.

    you're not unique
    and you're not different.
    you seem to be just like me.
    i can't quite see us together,
    you and me.

    i can't quite see us together,
    you and me.

    i know it doesn't make sense,
    what in this world does?
    you're a friend,
    a best one at that.
    so i guess,
    i can't see us together,
    you and me.

    Submitted on 2008-11-02 09:30:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Last stanza is a little weak. The line 'I guess' doesn't really flow with 'I can't see us together, you and me' which makes the stanza a bit disjointed. I like it without capitals, makes it seem more real instead of a pretty verse flowered up with half-truths. Keep it up :)
    | Posted on 2008-11-04 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]

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