Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Eternal Sensation of LIfe

Author: ImaginePeace
ASL Info:    16/f/who knows?
Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 6 /4 /6
Words: 93
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 927
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 629


Tell me what you think/how it makes you feel or really any interpretation :)

Eternal Sensation of LIfe

Filtered light it shines around
as green it slips between finger tips

The words are
swinging, rhyming,
flowing, timing
searching past the mind

The running feet
hit soft but harsh
as blue it speeds across the skin

Sensations in numbers fled
past the body and in to bed

Feathers brush in silent whispers
dreams rush in with silent kisses

Falling love and limitless
Eternally and back again
till stars all pass in shiny bliss
and the sun it beckons with a grin

Submitted on 2008-11-03 05:17:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  yeah I didn't even really have a rhyme scheme. this was just for fun
| Posted on 2008-11-03 00:00:00 | by ImaginePeace | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I like this piece on the basis of how well you used your words. the imagry of the last stanza was really good it invoked a lot of old memories, the sun always came too fast though.
However, (back to your Piece), I don't know if it was intentional but, your rhyme scheme seemed to fade in and out, it fit the piece though. =]

| Posted on 2008-11-03 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?