Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midnight Bazaardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 1066/1177/572
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 117
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 773



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Midnight Bazaardots
    -------------------------------------------


    There, just beyond the grassy knoll
    The haunted silver shade
    Fell on the twisted oak tree’s bole,
    A pretty nymph it made.

    And she sang songs surpassing sweet,
    A lovely serenade,
    While on her ankles and her feet,
    Were bands of polished jade.

    The knoll became a bright bazaar,
    The oak a colonnade
    Where shone a blue and turquoise star
    Across the wide arcade.

    The pond became an inland sea,
    As shadows in cascade
    Fell all across the hills alee
    Where marched a ghost brigade!

    That nymph she combed her golden hair,
    With combs of purple jade,
    And wove a costume from the air
    For midnight’s masquerade.




    Submitted on 2008-11-03 21:22:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Delightful and full of strong word images! Your work is always excellent, and a delight to read, and this one is no exception! I'll use your word here and say "Bravo"!
    | Posted on 2008-11-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the figurative language in this poem!
    The rhymes all fit really well too.

    The repetitive alliteration in line one/two of stanza two blends together well, i wish i could write like this, it's great :)

    Sorry that wasn't constructive critiscm really was it
    :-)

    | Posted on 2008-11-04 00:00:00 | by Musicloverxx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167535



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry