[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Gone Wrongdots

    Author: Anneboleyn707
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 44/84/67
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 805
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1122


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGone Wrongdots


    Nothing's wrong

    I really mean it

    Nothing's ever wrong

    Trails end, things change

    Some hearts are gone; most rearranged

    And I'm just tied up with that tired beating song

    Stuck in my head…

    That pure melody thrashes,

    And carries on

    I'm trying…

    I'm trying to find my way

    It stopped being easy

    When you pushed me away

    Closing. And with crashes,

    The doors are falling

    And It's useless

    To say we tried to hold them up

    I'm sorry

    You can't hear me

    But I've been lying

    And so clearly

    It's no wonder you threw that away

    For something you can hold

    Even I'd rather find the classic end

    Than waste my time

    On a story untold

    Submitted on 2008-11-04 00:54:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the flow of this a lot. It's almost like song lyrics. You have a very good way of expressing yourself. I especially like the simple and honest vocabulary used.
    | Posted on 2012-10-10 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Jame!!! I loveeeee this poem!!! This is like what happened at the end of my summer. I hate how people will lie and say they will be there forever and the next day they're gone. I love you! Sorry I haven't responded in a while I just figured out how to view my new messages lol! I hope you're havin fun in South Carolina!
    Love ya girl!!!!
    -Your lovely, beautiful, talented, sis,
    Lil Alz <3
    | Posted on 2011-09-25 00:00:00 | by xxalpal4everzxx | [ Reply to This ]
      For me the first part is just a warm up, which you can leave out...and then you get to this, which is the poem.

    Closing. And with crashes,
    The doors are falling
    And it's useless
    To say we tried to hold
    them up. I'm sorry

    You can't hear me
    But I've been lying
    so clearly

    It's no wonder you threw
    that away for something you can hold.

    Even I'd rather find
    the classic end than waste
    my time on a story untold

    | Posted on 2009-09-24 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing I hate more than nothing, nothing keeps me up at night.

    I like the poem because it's real.....we all experience these struggles on a daily bases.
    | Posted on 2009-07-17 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
      There are many love stories, and this lovely verse deftly describes one of them. So many affairs end as ..... a story untold. They are not wrong; they just aren't right!

    You have done well with a difficult subject, where it tells a story and the reader feels the drama and the loss! Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-11-13 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Story untold. A classic example of a scenario every human experiences which makes this so relatable even if it isn't. I was trapped the first line and never paused. One of the best on this website
    | Posted on 2008-11-06 00:00:00 | by KiHoodie | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Brigit written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]