Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blood Curdled at The Chilling Quilldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 210
    Class/Type: Poetry/Vampire
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1522



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlood Curdled at The Chilling Quilldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blood Curdled at The Chilling Quill

    Sanctuary I prayed
    Feet stumbling at a wet dank alter
    Crumbled brick the skeletal shell
    Of ancient cathedral
    Safety

    Mausoleum in the gloom of battered drips
    Their ghostly quill of written blood
    And zombie skins of parchment
    Write their movement
    On the clammy tips of sweat

    Don’t even breathe

    As the screaming prickling hairs stand stiff


    As the chilling curdled down my neck

    I am alone

    Cold swirls fog phantoms in my mouth
    And bitter teeth bite at one time warmth
    As every veil and smack of dark
    Stammers of cold footsteps

    Cold stone to grind my fist
    At Death

    Dead

    Un-Living

    Un-Dead

    Footsteps
    Approaching

    Hunters Moon haunted its taste for blood
    The cowl of foxes
    In midnights canine witchcraft
    Thought to stampede on shattered stain glass
    And spit the gargoyles fallen head
    In spells of horror demolished

    Sainted tiny fire I prayed
    Sanctuary
    From the tombs of dusted bones
    Let me sleep


    Let me sleep
    Behind burning eyes
    And drag from the crag the whimpering prize
    Of terror

    Let me edge on the ripping dawn
    Never to rest on burial ground





    Submitted on 2008-11-04 22:54:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi5 to vampires. I liked it in a chilling, foreboding way. You created a vivid imagery by using mere words, kudos for that. My favourite stanza is:

    "Let me sleep
    Behind burning eyes
    And drag from the crag the whimpering prize
    Of terror"

    That stanza actually made me shiver. I also particularly liked many of your metaphors, my favourite being:

    "As every veil and smack of dark
    Stammers of cold footsteps"

    Do you mind if I quote you on that someday?

    Keep up the good work :)
    | Posted on 2008-11-05 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    167584

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The Promise written by annie0888
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry