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    dots Submission Name: Creation of Physiquedots

    Author: Porcelaine
    ASL Info:    27/F/Croatia
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 880/703/256
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 958


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCreation of Physiquedots


    Moments collide in an exaltation
    Of curving the volatile fabrics
    That knit the divination ...dis- lucidly...
    ...generously gently
    And melt the warmth down the precipice
    Of champagne tasting garden of sensation;
    Swaying, enthralling,...
    Subsiding, oh, so slowly,
    Only to decay with the voluptuous beat
    Of body of essence.

    Strayers, betrayers and suns without zenith
    All feed and grow on the scythic arches
    Of a thunder - mellowed milky way vein line
    And sound dilated movements
    Dispersing in the dark
    And disclosing in the play of lights
    That, secretly, dance their art of fury,
    Their chemistry of pain,
    Their love for the concord of puzzles
    In one unique anatomy.



    Submitted on 2008-11-07 18:07:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Your poetry is epic,

    it takes a bit of effort to read,a bit of actual thought

    I dont like every phrase here,but theyre far outweighed by the odd line that gives me tingles:

    Of a thunder - mellowed milky way vein line

    I love your concept,all creation within the anatomy,its very clever,original and grandly written,I wont say what I dont like because itd be a tad irrelevent to your vision,and I couldnt write this any better than you did yknow?

    well,thats that


    | Posted on 2008-11-19 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      You are a master of words. You know that, no? Every line is filled with lush, voluptuous words that have more meaning in themselves than the images they transmit. This reminds me of how I should write myself, not this static and over lucid style I'm imprisoned in. I guess I need some inspiration in my life. :( This poem makes me see those fields again! Maybe there still is hope. :) Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2008-11-17 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      The 'picture' is again dark in the beginning... thousand of word-particles descend & ascend in agressive fractals all over the mind-screen... and beyond. What were the dimensions your thoughts were caught in?

    The end reminds me of a Gorrilaz - Song- Thingy. :)) "Fire coming out of a monkey's head"

    Happy, happy... folk. :)
    | Posted on 2008-11-16 00:00:00 | by -Lith-Ium- | [ Reply to This ]
      Transcendental !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    | Posted on 2008-11-08 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]

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