[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I am Lostdots

    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Prose/
    Total Views: 457
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1425

       Heres something stupid i did, not sure if its a poem, or prose...or anything much...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am Lostdots

    I am lost...
    The winds are strong...
    Amongst the skies, never ending...
    Seeping blood... taking away... all that is mine...
    Not knowing what to say
    To this driving force
    That is creeping ever so closely...
    To eat away
    At my very soul...
    The dissipating fringes
    That wants to end
    My desperate search
    Desperate because...
    I have no known idea of what I am looking for...
    How can something be
    Known when you have no known idea
    Of that entity yourself?
    How can his world be shaped when all words dissipate
    How can I let my soul free
    When it is chained down by,
    Anchors as vast as the ocean?
    Why can I not learn to love?
    Why do I always let it slip by?
    Why will I not grasp it firmly?
    And take a hold of it?
    Why do I watch it flutter by like the dandelion seeds blown away by the wind?
    Why can I not take a hold of the soul I am intrigued by the most?
    Why do I show motion for something I am afraid to carry on?
    Am I afraid to break that soul that is bound to me in some perplexed way, because of my actions?
    Why do I continue on when I know the ending will not be pleasant?
    When I know my future will not allow me to keep it intact?
    When I have crossed the ocean...
    When he has stayed ashore...

    Submitted on 2008-11-09 06:09:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the start but you deviated a lot and I got a little confused. It was like there was two different parts separate from each other.
    | Posted on 2008-11-18 00:00:00 | by ChildInTime | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    Every..... written by jackz
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Where? written by ParanoidParadox
    untitled written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]