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Welcome Mat

Author: was_i_ever_real
ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
Elite Ratio:    8 - 194 /91 /52
Words: 160
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1834
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1080


Breaking down human walls. Letting someone in. Not wanting them to leave.

It's just an idea...if I get good responses I'll add more to it.

Welcome Mat

The door was unlocked.
Doors are always unlocked it seems.
But there is never a welcome mat.
I've noticed that.

Floorboards protest my entrance and shadows linger in every corner so that I have to walk with one hand dragging lightly against the walls, leaving trails in the collected dust, memories of different-if-not-better times.

Childlike, I dance through rooms
where night lights have been left
because curtains are never pulled aside.
The sun has no business here.

I peek and peer,
softly advancing deeper and deeper,
eyes wide.
I hear laughter and cries
and conversation
but every bed is empty.

And the sun is setting.

On my way to the door, I notice the shadows have gone, and the dust isn't as thick. And the floorboards are holding their tongues...

The door is open.
Doors are always open when it's time to leave.
But there's a new welcome mat.
I noticed that.

Submitted on 2008-11-10 15:02:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i like the mats at the start and the end.
when i read your title i was going somewhere completely different with welcome mats... some days all i am is a welcome mat for people to walk over and clean their shoes on... good at listening and observing and serving but not really getting noticed for any of the lengths i go to for people who use such services...

fascinating that theres a welcome mat on the way out but not on the way in... welcome to leave perhaps? or welcome to come back and extend your stay..?

realising you wrote this some time ago... what do you think of it now? is there anythign you would change about it?

this piece seems sneakily conversational in places... ive noticed that... i noticed that being huge evidence of this... your observations being directed somewhere or toward someone perhaps... and said in such a way it causes me to wonder whether ive noticed it too or whether im too preoccupied with other things to have noticed such a small every day thing that is actually bigger than first thought.

ramble ramble.
| Posted on 2010-03-17 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  hmm.. this was really good. open, yet mysterious. well done!
| Posted on 2009-04-11 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
  "Breaking down human walls. Letting someone in. Not wanting them to leave."

i think you encapsulate this statement of yours perfectly in this poem, plus more...

i think you speak of those dark places everyone has, that most find hard to share in fear that it'll overwhelm that other person: pandora's box, figuratively speaking, as a comparison.

i like the clipped-wings prosaic language you've used here; it's direct without being direct, emotional yet slightly held back. as it should be, i think. one gets the feeling that if you were to let loose these inner dams that a different poem would be birthed.

i tend to be very psychoanalytical with work, making comparisons between the most obvious symbols and motifs... and... juxtaposing this so that i can get an emotional picture of the writer's frame of mind: often i fail, so excuse me...

doors are both welcome and an adversary, both light-bringing and the sealer of shadows: a yes/no tugging sensation, a very apparent mental (and physical-symbolic) dichotomy.

image-wise, i saw an old house, perhaps an orphanage: one where the ghosts of children's laughter comes and goes. one where you are one and all of these children, embodying different facets of innocence and abandonment... dark corners, dusty rooms, empty beds, but with a definitive feeling that there is movement in some way still.

oh my.
i'm babbling.
you caught me in a wandering mood.
| Posted on 2009-03-30 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
  I didn't get the feeling of home, but rather a light at the end of a tunnel, hindsight's know that sort of thing.

I really like your style it's reality. Well, as real as poetry can be.

I think the beauty of this peice is the fact it is optimistic. And that's a rarity anymore.

| Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the feel of this. It is strangely familiar to my poem "A Place of White Walls." You should read it, i think you would agree. But Im sure they have different meanings. Either way, i think this was good. I liked how you started and ended it with a similar feel but used different words.

| Posted on 2008-11-26 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this. I an not sure what you intended for the reader to think. I read it as one of those moments when you are traveling through the town where you grew up and you stop to visit you childhood home. Or perhaps you (the narrator) was able to buy her childhood home. Either way, this piece gives me a strange but good feeling.
| Posted on 2008-11-11 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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