[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Welcome Matdots

    Author: was_i_ever_real
    ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 194/91/52
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1086
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1080

       Breaking down human walls. Letting someone in. Not wanting them to leave.

    It's just an idea...if I get good responses I'll add more to it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWelcome Matdots

    The door was unlocked.
    Doors are always unlocked it seems.
    But there is never a welcome mat.
    I've noticed that.

    Floorboards protest my entrance and shadows linger in every corner so that I have to walk with one hand dragging lightly against the walls, leaving trails in the collected dust, memories of different-if-not-better times.

    Childlike, I dance through rooms
    where night lights have been left
    because curtains are never pulled aside.
    The sun has no business here.

    I peek and peer,
    softly advancing deeper and deeper,
    eyes wide.
    I hear laughter and cries
    and conversation
    but every bed is empty.

    And the sun is setting.

    On my way to the door, I notice the shadows have gone, and the dust isn't as thick. And the floorboards are holding their tongues...

    The door is open.
    Doors are always open when it's time to leave.
    But there's a new welcome mat.
    I noticed that.

    Submitted on 2008-11-10 15:02:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like the mats at the start and the end.
    when i read your title i was going somewhere completely different with welcome mats... some days all i am is a welcome mat for people to walk over and clean their shoes on... good at listening and observing and serving but not really getting noticed for any of the lengths i go to for people who use such services...

    fascinating that theres a welcome mat on the way out but not on the way in... welcome to leave perhaps? or welcome to come back and extend your stay..?

    realising you wrote this some time ago... what do you think of it now? is there anythign you would change about it?

    this piece seems sneakily conversational in places... ive noticed that... i noticed that being huge evidence of this... your observations being directed somewhere or toward someone perhaps... and said in such a way it causes me to wonder whether ive noticed it too or whether im too preoccupied with other things to have noticed such a small every day thing that is actually bigger than first thought.

    ramble ramble.
    | Posted on 2010-03-17 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm.. this was really good. open, yet mysterious. well done!
    | Posted on 2009-04-11 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      "Breaking down human walls. Letting someone in. Not wanting them to leave."

    i think you encapsulate this statement of yours perfectly in this poem, plus more...

    i think you speak of those dark places everyone has, that most find hard to share in fear that it'll overwhelm that other person: pandora's box, figuratively speaking, as a comparison.

    i like the clipped-wings prosaic language you've used here; it's direct without being direct, emotional yet slightly held back. as it should be, i think. one gets the feeling that if you were to let loose these inner dams that a different poem would be birthed.

    i tend to be very psychoanalytical with work, making comparisons between the most obvious symbols and motifs... and... juxtaposing this so that i can get an emotional picture of the writer's frame of mind: often i fail, so excuse me...

    doors are both welcome and an adversary, both light-bringing and the sealer of shadows: a yes/no tugging sensation, a very apparent mental (and physical-symbolic) dichotomy.

    image-wise, i saw an old house, perhaps an orphanage: one where the ghosts of children's laughter comes and goes. one where you are one and all of these children, embodying different facets of innocence and abandonment... dark corners, dusty rooms, empty beds, but with a definitive feeling that there is movement in some way still.

    oh my.
    i'm babbling.
    you caught me in a wandering mood.
    | Posted on 2009-03-30 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      I didn't get the feeling of home, but rather a light at the end of a tunnel, hindsight's twenty-twenty...you know that sort of thing.

    I really like your style it's reality. Well, as real as poetry can be.

    I think the beauty of this peice is the fact it is optimistic. And that's a rarity anymore.

    | Posted on 2008-12-11 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the feel of this. It is strangely familiar to my poem "A Place of White Walls." You should read it, i think you would agree. But Im sure they have different meanings. Either way, i think this was good. I liked how you started and ended it with a similar feel but used different words.

    | Posted on 2008-11-26 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. I an not sure what you intended for the reader to think. I read it as one of those moments when you are traveling through the town where you grew up and you stop to visit you childhood home. Or perhaps you (the narrator) was able to buy her childhood home. Either way, this piece gives me a strange but good feeling.
    | Posted on 2008-11-11 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Carry written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Cover written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Etiquette written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]