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Us Or The Lack Of

Author: bkj43
ASL Info:    22/m/va
Elite Ratio:    3.92 - 119 /140 /79
Words: 338
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 984
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2308


Piece about a known but unmentioned possibility between two people. Let me know what you think

Us Or The Lack Of

Rain falls outside;
A roaring cascade
Sounding of swaying waves-
The world clawing and falling,
Breathing and ceasing.

Daffodils dance among eating ants.

And I am sitting,
Sitting on the verge while time ticks by.
My ever evolving moment static,
Gazing over the ledge...
Into bliss or the abyss?

My mind has walked the track
To this question on most nights,
Ever since we shared the sight;
Lured and guided we were
By that possibility that lay in the deep,
That unknown that lives beyond
Each from each.

To that edge of our friendship
We went and reached-
Across to each other,
Across the deep.
But too far we were,
Each from each.

And dared we not
To risk a fall too steep
For a chance at a life
That finds shelter in each.
When I saw you turn,
I thought I'd leap...
Stretched arms and hands grasping
For that hair,
But then I would go down
To...who knows where...

So now I sit and ponder
What I see over that edge,
For down there lies what I don't know,
A question I can't forget,
A life that begs.

And you,
Down there lies you,
You with I.

The "Us" now
Is of coy movements made
Around that fire that seperates us
When we're together;
I fidget inside
Because it reflects in your eyes,
As it also does in mine.

What if I jumped in?
Immolating my present future
To stand in our fire,
To stand in the light of us.
...I wonder if you'd do the same

I might not be single
In my fear of change...

But all signs say
I wouldn't be alone in that flame.
I see us burning together
...For better or worse.

The rain deceased
And still sitting were I started,
I peer down and quote my friend Prufock,
"Do I dare disturb the universe?"
Do I over step the boundary,
Leading each to each,
To shared smiles and weeps?

Submitted on 2008-11-12 01:01:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I really liked this. I agree; it was beautifully written. It had amazing imagery.
The only thing I have to say about it was that at times, it rhymed and at times it didn't- I thought that disrupted the flow a little.
But I overall I liked it. Great job. Keep writing!Thanks.
| Posted on 2008-11-12 00:00:00 | by bananafish | [ Reply to This ]
  This was beautifully written. I don't have a negitive thing to say. I can relate to this perfecty. I'm in the same situation and I know the questions that haunt. Timid steps end the journey without the satisfaction that running can give. Keep up the great work, and I'll keep reading.

| Posted on 2008-11-12 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

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