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    dots Submission Name: Contraceptives dont work (comedy)dots

    Author: jamar2
    ASL Info:    52/male/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 53/46/75
    Words: 286
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1579

       A light hearted look at one of those every day things we are all so familiar with, enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsContraceptives dont work (comedy)dots

    This is a story about my darling wife,
    Who wanted to come under the surgical knife.
    We had seven children and wanted no more,
    To be sterilised is all she was asking for.

    From the day we got married, we were so bold,
    Use the rhythm method so we were told.
    All bar doing the TANGO & RUMBA all night,
    Where do you get a band that plays till daylight.

    But she fell pregnant again

    She tried the Dutch Cap but went cherry red,
    When she found it to tight around the forehead.
    We tried the safe period, but the house was always full,
    We had waited three weeks, was going out of my skull.

    But she fell pregnant again

    A midwife told us to make love as she breast fed,
    It was hardly brown Ale, but I got silky hair on my head.
    The coil was next, it had a right hand thread askew,
    That didn't work 'coz the wife was a right hand screw.

    But she fell pregnant again

    A chemist demonstrated the sheath by placing it on his thumb,
    Failing to see how this would work, it had to be done.
    Finally we decided to try oral sex during the spring,
    But talking about it could never replace the real thing.

    But she fell pregnant again

    I hope you understand why she wanted to go under the knife,
    Was it worth all the trouble,? Oh, my dear poor wife.

    She isn't pregnant! PHEW!

    Submitted on 2008-11-12 11:33:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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